Long Time No See

I type from the bright lights of a hotel room in St. Lucia. Last night I took a warm shower and slept with air conditioning and had cheesecake for dessert. I feel disorientated, a little dreamy. A tv sits in my bedroom and I have yet to turn it on after 3 nights here. I'm here attending an HIV Workshop entitled "Men as Partners" with 4 other Dominicans and other service providers from all over the Eastern Caribbean. The workshop is being facilitated by a group called ASHE from Jamaica which offers new and innovative ways to educate on HIV related issues. The workshop is a mixture of drama making, singing, debate, heated discussion, and education on gender topics as they relate to the Caribbean and World. Out of our time here, we then hope to design a program initiative that will involve men in the HIV education process.

As you can see from the staleness of my blog entries as of late, I haven't had internet since October. Long story short, a lightening storm blew out the electricity in a part of my village and it affected the phone service. 4 visits from the phone company later and I still do not have internet. A year ago this would have been extremely frustrating, (and it still is) yet now I let it roll off my shoulders (mostly because I don't have much control over it, so why let it bother me?)

It's strange being here in St. Lucia...the spot I was first introduced and welcomed into the Caribbean, now a year and 4 months later. I see it with such different eyes now....the food stores I first saw as so little now seem like gigantic and fancy stores with such a wide variety of choices. The 4 lane roads, traffic, streetlights, clothes stores, shoe stores, and commercialism all around me. The eager eyes and idealistic mind that came before is now faced with the humbled and realistic steps of the Dominican me. Lots of internal processing going on, especially as I await my trip home to the States on Dec. 16th. I don't have all the words to speak this experience right now but I can say this: a change has taken root inside of me and synthesizing the "old me" with the "present me" are the next steps on my personal journey. I'd describe this synthesized me an "optimistic realist". When my steps reach NM for the Christmas Season, I will be able to get the outside reflection necessary to move forward in this. Excited, nervous, unsure, ready.

I had a great conversation with this guy tonight...born in Nigeria, raised in Grenada ...our mixed up cocktail of cultural experiences offering a sense of home for 2 wanderers. Great advice given and mutual understanding gained.

Maybe tomorrow I can post some pictures, a visual update. Meanwhile, those soft sheets and cushy pillows await my dreadhead. Nite =)