Work in Progress

I've decided this is going to be an epic blog entry. So many experiences, so many things to say. I haven't been sharing the vastness, the richness of this experience like I thought I would...but I guess that's what happens when you're IN IT so deeply. You lose the perspective, the big picture needed to share it with the diversity of eyes and minds that cross these pages. Mostly, these words are for my friends and family back home so they know where I am at: physically, emotionally, spiritually. Sorry I've been a little distant. Have no fear ~ I am learning, growing, and doing well =)

Lizards live on my wall. Little cute, itty bitty baby ones, the size of a sliver, & bigger Mama and Papa ones, the size of my index finger. They eat little insects and so I don't mind their company. Only thing is, they also leave little bitty poop on the walls and curtains.

I've learned to cook from "scratch" which is a humbling process. The recipe calls for tomato paste and so I improvise with mashed up tomatoes? My bread never comes out just right but it revealed to me my lack of patience...you have to let it rise! Fried plantain is a fun treat. I make lots of fish broths with consist of fresh fish (scaled, gutted, and sliced by mwa thanks to the teaching of my host dad, and my boyfriend, Marlie), provisions (like dasheeng or tannia), breadfruit, fig, green pawpaw, carrot, onion, pumpkin, and cabbage. Ah yes, lentils or rice. A few or plenty... the great thing is you can mix it up. Improvising is the key to success (in cuisine and pretty much everything else here). I love pumpkin soup, particularly special if it has coconut milk and lobster. Fresh juice: lime, guava, pineapple, mango, orange/tangerine, soursop. I tried a pumpkin juice, with nutmeg and spice (cinnamon) once. YummMm.

Living in season. Something else I'm learning to appreciate. Eat and enjoy LOTS of avocados (Zaboca!) as it falls from the trees and then wait another year until it comes again. Relish in the bounty of the moment, not expecting it to always be there but enjoying it when it comes.

When I first arrived on island I was spellbound. So much beauty. Trees and flowers and sounds and tastes. Words spoken in a different way. You think you will remember this, that every time you walk on your back porch you will see the beauty all around you and be taken. Except, that isn't what has happened. I have forgotten many times. Things have become "normal", or I guess that is an excuse to say my eyes have begun to see things through the lens of the mundane, ungrateful. I am working on this. Cultivating more joy and gravity and gratitude in my life is my top priority. An endless cycle I play with. I tell myself "Look around! You should be smiling ear to ear. This is what you wanted, but more. Beautiful views, vibrant culture, interesting people, curious children, and plenty, plenty to learn." This is what I joined the Peace Corps for. Somehow, though, I lose sight. I get bogged down in fear, apprehension, frustration, uncertainty. Yes, frustration is probably the number one battle I face. But then I try to remember the words of our former Country Director...she told us that something is WRONG if you are not pushed beyond your limits, found uncomfortable and overwhelmed at times. THIS IS the process of crossing culture...of becoming a human that is learning to step out of their own box, their own comfort zone, their own knowing. This is not easy. No. It is not. In some ways I feel I have met up to the challenge and in some ways I feel I am failing, I have missed the mark, I have not taken full advantage of the situation. And that is life. I will take it as it comes and try my best, knowing I have plenty yet to go and yet have come so far.


Thinking of that, how far have I come? What has changed INSIDE of me since I reached this island more than a year ago. This is a question I cannot answer, put a finger on. It's one of those things I will have to let happen...let shape me, penetrate me, mold me and then look back on when it is finished and say "this is what that time in my life meant..." Yes, the hindsight, reflection piece will come later. I can say I have changed. But I would have changed anywhere I was, for these are the years, this is the time in life when changes are made, right? 20 something angst, questioning, seeking, experimenting. Whether it was Peace Corps or a move to another part of the States or the start of a career, surely this time was meant for me to change, learn, and grow. This is the context I have chosen...although I cannot say with clarity why...not right now. I guess I wanted to see life from the various angles, open up my worldview...hear the stories. Yes, I like to hear the stories. And there are definitely lots of great stories all around.

All this to say what?

Life here is humbling. Yes, I am definitely a much humbler person than ever before. Recognizing the basic, primal nature of human beings. Seeing the stories as they play out (including my own).

I have decided to play a much more active role in the Primary School than I did last year. We were told in our beginning time as volunteers that are role is NOT to teach at schools, because there is enough human resources within the community to do this. So I stayed out of these things. I helped with the library and would offer my help for functions or events, after school activities. But what I realized as last year went on is that during the day most people are working, on their farms or otherwise, or they are at the schools, either as teacher or student. What does that leave for me, the Peace Corps Volunteer to do? HMmMmm...not much. And a frustration and disheartening experience. Here you came to offer up the skills you have tried to gather in school and yet...where to give them? who to give them in a village of 400 people living out their lives? The question became: What do I have to offer to this community, right here, right now that makes sense to them. And it was simple. The school has such a huge role in the community, not to mention a huge responsibility. In terms of community development, it is a great place to bring in projects and ideas to benefit the students, but also the community as a whole.

The school does have great, qualified, and committed teachers. Meanwhile, they are also going to college for teacher certification, trying to run the ins and outs of school activities, and taking care of their families at home. Overworked. Stretched thin. On Fridays, 2 of the classes were being supervised by the principal because the teachers were in class in Roseau, so I offered to help with the classes on these days. This allows the principal to better carry out her own administrative duties, which are indeed endless. I never pictured myself doing this, teaching a class of 3rd of 4th graders, and really it was never something I would have said I wanted to do either. Yet, it's strange how you adapt to fit into situations. I find myself overwhelmed with it and yet satisfied in it too. They're so full of energy, so full of life....so full of mischief. My respect for students has truly reached a new level. It is fun and rewarding, but also filled with endless work and challenges.

The top priority for us is getting a school lunch program going. Right now, students go home or bring food to school for lunch. This poses a problem, because often children eat snacky, sugary foods or maybe just bread and juice, coming back to class hyper. You get the picture... Not to mention the importance of a well balanced meal in the learning process and in brain development. The great news is a company is sponsoring our program and renovations for the kitchen take place this Saturday, followed by an "Eat Fish Day" that will be carried out by a local fishermen's cooperative in which students and their parents will be served fish in different cooking styles.

There is still some work for me to do in the library. Right now, we have the books organized and separated into reading levels. All the students are orientated to the library and check out books on a regular basis. This is great! But we still have lots of work to do. The room is kind of used as a storage space too because there aren't any other available spaces. This leaves the room a bit hectic when kids come inside to get books. We still need to spruce it up with some paint and fun charts. As of right now, I pretty much run the library, in the sense that I organize the children to come in and pick books every other week. When I go, where does this leave the library? Who will be taking on this responsibility? Well, this is my next aim in the project. Getting it at a sustainable level.

Within our community is Antrizle Beach, one of the few sandy beaches on the entire east coast. During our village council inauguration, the Prime Minister gave the village council EC$40,000 to improve the road leading to the beach. This has been a community interest for a long time and so it was great news. We're now about to start construction work on the road, beginning Oct. 1st. Meanwhile, we're working to mobilize community members to help in the project, stretching the funds as much as possible. Eco-tourism is highly focused on for economic development on the island and it is hoped that through offering accessible sights our community can begin to generate income from passing visitors. It seems that most people in the community are in support of these steps and are eager to see the project move forward.

The youth group I had put much of my efforts in for the first year of my service seems to be coming apart. While there are various factors for this, I think I will have to see how it plays out. While I want to see the group succeed and develop, there is no sense in pushing for it to work if the members are not invested in it as well.

The Girls' Empowerment Camp we organized last month was a success and I just loved it. What a bunch of great ladies. Out of the camp, the girls expressed a desire to organize themselves into a rounders sports group, so that's our next move. We will be seeking members, sponsorship, and start practicing over the next few months.

A little bit of this and a little bit of that. That's my life here. I like it. It's dynamic and flexible. Always asking something new from me. Sometimes I have it to give, sometimes I don't feel that I do. But I know I am trying my best and for that I am happy. When I come to the day with an open mind and clear eyes, I can see all that is offered in the moment and things flow so well. Other days, I wake up and feel bogged down and lost in it, not really open to the possibilities. I am a much, much stronger person now. I see this. I am in a learning and growing stage, a work in progress....please bare with me =)

I'm going to start organizing my photos into albums and post them soon. As I write, rain pours down, the 2nd day in a row. Luckily, it is giving me the time to catch up inside. Some cleaning, some writing, some relaxing.

Peace & Love from Dominica,
Jasmine