Censorship is death

I am lost in a pastel swirl of tides and sweat drops. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. Something taking root? Shaking something loose? I do not know where my heart resides for now, but crave ever more to climb the trees, wander off the tracks, explore my own deepest song, sang only at night, only alone, no eyes watching, only the steady beat of my heart leading me forward.

Caribbean life is magical, but not to create a picture postcard image. All I know is I am supposed to be here. Something resonates. I have learned to walk slower and put my sole to the earth. I have learned that hatred exists and life is not supposed to be easy. I have learned that I can do more than they ever told me, ever showed me. I am learning to teach myself. I am learning to ask for help. I am learning some people do not know how to help other people. I am learning I do not know much, but that my desire and my drive will keep me learning all my life. I have learned that I am much more fragile than I ever knew and yet bolder than most can handle.

Where does the river flow to? Where does wave meet with wave? How can I reach that place inside myself that knows and stay there? I want to stay there...

To be present for another, you must first be present with yourself. I have found myself running, confused at the intensity of the wind. I did not realize how much fear had taken root in my life. I don't hesitate though, I will match step with step and hold myself firmly. I will get there. I always have...